Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Barry's sister Frankie came by yesterday. She brought us a cured ham and lots of good grits. And of course she had lots of goodies for the boys, their wives and the grandkids! She also helped us get some things done around the house. I just love Frankie!
My brother Larry was a lifesaver yesterday. Barry was able to get Vernon Dickerson to help him put the trailor hitch on our car but the wiring for the lights turned out to be tricky. We were about to think we would have to wait for another lighting system to be ordered...and Larry came in. He and Barry went out and together were able to figure it out. Barry said without Larry he would never have been able to get it done. Then, they spent the rest of the hot, humid day getting the trailor loaded with the help of Ann and I. We were so exhausted by the end of the day...but we had one thing to look forward to. Larry Peoples, Vernon and Rita Dickerson, Al and Marla Peoples were at Ball's Airfield grilling hotdogs and hamburgers for a sendoff party for us. Larry Romero, Ann, Barry, and I went out and sat down in the shade of the Outer Marker and ate that wonderful food. Joyce Ann Peoples, Travis, and Joni and her new friend Jonathan were there too. It was so relaxing after such a stressful day. Before we left, we got the idea to have everyone sign the back of the trailor.
Leaving mom's house was so hard this morning. Ann, Larryp, Larryr, Joni, and my chocolate mama (Annie loves it when I call her that) were all there. My cousin Wendy came by too for awhile. It is always hard to leave our family, but we've ridden such an emotional rollercoaster for the past 4 months..,and grew so close on that ride...that this time the sadness is so deep it hurts more than usual. After the hugs and goodbyes, I got in the car and felt overcome with the desire to go back into the house. I wanted to go into mom's room so bad I ached. I told Barry I had to go back in...he asked why and I said...I don't know...I need some of her clothes to hug or something...he said for me to go ahead...and finally I told him that I guess I just felt like I needed to go tell her goodbye...but she is not there...so just drive... he said are you sure...yes, just drive...I honestly thought I was not going to be able to stop crying! We stopped to eat in Rolesville which is about 20 miles from mom's. I realized that I had forgotten one of my most prized posessions. A huge picture that Larry had given me of mom and dad. I was so sad again. About that time, the phone rang and it was Ann. She and Larry had discovered that I had forgotten the picture. She was on her way to Wake Forest which was in the same direction as where we were eating. She brought it to me! We hugged again and cried again. I just love her so much and truly feel like we have bonded so much that we will always be close friends.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
At 10:30 this morning, I was sitting with mom writing this blog and before I could finish...mom passed away...very slowly and peacefully. The day has been crazy...I am tired....later I will share the experience. I love you all!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Having Cale here was helpful. He has been a nursing home administator for the past few years so he had some fresh insight for us. He was able to observe her and call some of his medical staff and describe her behavior and come up with some more ideas to make her comfortable. She slept a couple of days after we started a new med..One thing I know for sure...there are no clear cut answers...how I wish there were!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
On Friday March 12, we got a call from our Hospice. They had a meeting with the doctors about mom. Based on what they were told by the nurses who visit 3 days a week, they think that it is time to quit all the invasive medications and blood tests that we have been having mom go through. She has been so agitated and sad lately and the nurses picked up on in in the last couple of weeks. It was hard to make a decision like that. After talking to them for a long time, we decided that they are right. Basically, mom is not going to get better. Her mind is really struggling and our goal needs to be to just make her peaceful and happy. That is hard to do when you are shoving pills down her three times a day, taking her blood sugar twice a day, giving her insulin at least once a day, and inviting nurses in to draw blood at least once a week. So as of Saturday, we have cut her pills down to just a few important ones and we no longer check her blood sugar or do insulin. I have to say, she seems much calmer!
- Today we had a hoist delivered to help lift mom. It is so nice to be able to get mom where she needs to be without having to scare her. As part of the progression of her disease, she quit walking about 2 weeks ago and this past week, she became scared to stand. Her mind just cannot relay a message to her legs. You can imagine how scary that would be! I was showing Ann and Joni how the hoist works and Joni said," Gail you are so excited...you are like a kid in a candy store!!" She is right! It has been so scary to try to get mom around and have her legs just go limp on me! I was so afraid of hurting her. Thanks to the hoist, we can fearlessly go from the bed to the wheelchair to the potty! Oh Happy Day!!!!
- We had lots of visitors this weekend! Kira, Rusty, Aunt Shirley, Alma and Dawn came on Saturday. It was a beautiful day so most of us stayed outside and we let a few visitors go back to see mom at a time. She does better visiting with only a couple of people at a time. We got her up later in the afternoon and these are pictures of that visit.
- Shirley came on Sunday and helped Larry while Barry and I went to church. We go to the Wake Forest Ward and really enjoy that time. I loved being there although I miss our ward! It is hard to be a temporary visitor and not be able to get to know some of the people you meet...but they are some sweet people! We do know a few people in the ward that we knew when we lived here before and it is so fun to get reacquainted with them! I love the sunday school teacher!! She reminds me of Whoppi Goldberg! She kept us all laughing so hard and still taught an excellent lesson!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Here are the things I wrote down....
1:30 am "Mess up here- its already messed up. Dont say it, Miss Annie I wanna go home- Keep calling me- uh uh" (falls asleep)
1:35 am "Miss Annie- come in here- this is up here, up here, up here" (sleep) "Let me go home, this is my house, please let us go home'
1:40 am "Miss Annie- me go over yonder. I want to go home. Miss Annie, Miss Annie to come over here. Miss Annie, Miss Annie.
ME:Mom, I with you. I love you.
"All of this up in here"
"I dont want to roll over that way."
ME- "you can stay where you are"
"Happy Happy the day before. Can we go back?"
me- "back where?"
"Up there" (sleep)
1:45 Nothing going on in here
ME: How about going to sleep
I have one every time we go to work on the other thing.
ME: What thing?
The other thing. Let me roll over.
I ROLL HER OVER>2:00
"Turn it over here...Turn it over here." (falls asleep)
"Me and Ann are cold in there. Let me go over here. I can't do that. Miss Annie, Miss Annie, Miss Annie"
"Now are we over here. (Points to mirror) Over there. Me, me, me over there. I'm going over here. Miss Annie...teacher."
I roll her over again and she sleeps...snoring a bit...yahoo!!!
She sleeps until morning. I always hate to wake her up for breakfast but if I don't, she is weak and gets off schedule for her pills. I have to get her up by 8:30 and feed her by 9:00 to make sure she does not get too weak.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
What a difference! Mom took 3 antibiotics yesterday and today her eye looks and feels so much better. I had the picture of her with the infection on my last blog but Barry thought I should take it off so I did. Anyway, we are on the mend finally with that and she seems to be feeling better. It is so sad to see how confusing the world is for her. She did get out of bed today for all three meals but she is having trouble with walking today. She really has to think about putting one foot in front of the other. It is a shouffle kind of a walk. Eating has become very confusing too. We have to make sure she has food in front of her when she sits at the table and she does fine.
Ann and Larry P. and Barry and I are going to the beach tomorrow! (Thanks for the use of the beach house Rusty and Kira!!!) We are excited to get away but I also feel nervous about leaving. It is only 3 hours away so it will be ok. We need to get away.
Today I had my hair cut and colored. I really had the "skunk" style going. A gray streak down the part line. Ann came over and stayed with Annie and mom. I love the way the girl did my hair and it feels so good to feel a little less frumpy!!! I honestly only wear makeup on Sundays for church and have just been quickly running the brush through my hair in the morning. Poor Barry must think he married a slob! Ill try to be better about that.
I love blogging! It has been so good for me to get my feelings out and this is such a fun way to do it. Please know that I am doing fine and though this is hard, I love being here. My sister and I are really enjoying our time with mom. Ann comes nearly everyday and I know it is because she, like myself, is just wanting to cherish every moment that we have with our special mom.
Barry helps me get mom up in the morning and that has been a special time too. My brother, Larry comes every weekend and it has been fun to spend time with him. My sister Shirley came last saturday and sunday and mom enjoyed seeing her and her sweet daughter Rachel. I have a brother Steve who has not been able to come down but he calls and checks on mom. We are really trying to pull together. What if we had not decided to come when we did! It makes me sad to think of all these special times with mom and my siblings that I would have missed!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tonight I found this picture of mom and dad. They look so happy! Mom lost some of that spark in her eyes when dad died so very many years ago. I need to keep reminding myself about that incredible reunion they will have someday. For now...we will just keep loving mom and giving all we have to keep her happy! (PS...Marilyn, I have had you and your mom in my thoughts so much today! Love ya!)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
We spend alot of time around this table. I think that is the way of the South! Anyone who has ever visited Cille has spent lots of time in this spot and most likely they have experienced her bringing out lots of food and trying to be sure that everyone at the table tries everything on the table! ...... Mom is really struggling with her memory. Someone asked her the other day if she knew my name and she patted me on the leg and said,"she knows her own name". Having your own mom forget who you are is painful...but I do think that she knows that she loves me and that I love her...and that is more important than her being able to call me by name!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Barry and I paid a visit to his aunt in The Manor in Louisburg. She is such a sweet lady. I won't tell you how old she is, but when she told me, I was amazed at how well she is doing. What really blew my mind was that she does not color her hair! That is the natural color! I wish I could say that about myself! She is so much fun and is just loving life even though her knees hurt so bad that she was laying in bed with layers of covers on them to get the pain down. She said that they bring snacks by every morning and night and told us to open that top drawer and pick something out. We opened it and it was full of all kinds of chips and other snacks. We have not had the chance to visit anyone else in Barry's family with all that has been going on with mom. I hope to do that when we get mom into a "routine"...
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Yesterday we were told that mom would be able to come home today and we were getting all geared up for that. Today the doctor informed us that her Hemoglobin count was low and that her INR level was high... so she needed to stay there one more day. Tomorrow will be the day. The hospital social worker called a meeting of my sister, Ann and brother Larry and I a couple of days ago. It was a tough meeting because they suggested to us that we call in Hospice. That makes things seem so final but they explained to us that it is the best way to get the services that mom will need. After they explained what Hospice can do, it made me feel so much better bringing her home. I just hope I can bring her lots of joy and happiness while at the same time, keeping her as safe and comfortable as possible. I know that with help of Annie, her best friend and my brothers and sisters, it will be fine! I love that sweet momma!!!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
We arrived in Louisburg on Sunday, January 31 at about 8:30 pm. We were so happy to get here! My sister Ann, her husband Larry and my brother Larry were here with mom when we got here. We had called them several times along the road and knew that mom was not feeling well but we were not prepared for how sick she really was. It is amazing how fast things can change at her age...I cannot tell you how scared I was that night! We called the ambulance the next morning and she is now in ICU at the local hospital. She has been in there for a week now. It turns out that she has pneumonia and as a result of that, her heart rate was over 200 and her blood sugar was over 400 by the time she went to the hospital. The pneumonia is getting better but she is still having trouble with the heart rate. They keep it under control most of the time... but a few times since she went in, it has raced out of control. They are trying to get it under control with medications since surgery for her is out of the question. I love that sweet lady! She is amazing! I love spending time with her! I read a book called "No Love is Ever Wasted" that my sister gave me. It has really helped me have some sweet moments with mom even when she was so sick that I was not sure she knew who I was. It was written by a couple that have worked with memory loss patients for years and as a result, their insight is priceless! Today mom was doing so much better. She is eating great and seems to be getting her strength back. I cannot wait for her to get strong enough to get back home!!!
I am also reading a book my brother gave me called " My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte. It is about a Harvard trained brain scientist who had a stroke. True Story. If you are looking for a good book club book...it would be great. It was a NY Times bestseller.
Friday, February 5, 2010
We left Provo and headed to Colorado to visit Cale, Hailey, Kira and Cole. It was such a quick visit...I tried to convince myself that we should stay an extra night...but we really needed to get on the road. They bought their home as a diamond in the rough. They have really transformed that place. I know they are getting tired of the on going projects, but it will be worth it! Kira and Cole are so cute. They are such good buddies...Kira just adores her little brother!