Saturday, May 29, 2010

Leaving North Carolina....

For the past month, we have been going through mom's things. It has been such a special time. Ann and I had some priceless moments together. What was amazing to both of us was how we felt like mom was helping us out in many of the decisions. I told Ann that I felt like mom would be proud of the way we handled things...and she would. But oh....the stuff!!! The jewelry was the most took us three days to get through that. We found love letters between mom and dad and I am planning to make a family history book with those. We found quilt squares that mom made...another project for me. Finally, everything was divided for the most part... and Barry and I decided it was time to get back home to Idaho. The problem was how to get all the STUFF back home with us. So, we bought a trailor.

Barry's sister Frankie came by yesterday. She brought us a cured ham and lots of good grits. And of course she had lots of goodies for the boys, their wives and the grandkids! She also helped us get some things done around the house. I just love Frankie!

My brother Larry was a lifesaver yesterday. Barry was able to get Vernon Dickerson to help him put the trailor hitch on our car but the wiring for the lights turned out to be tricky. We were about to think we would have to wait for another lighting system to be ordered...and Larry came in. He and Barry went out and together were able to figure it out. Barry said without Larry he would never have been able to get it done. Then, they spent the rest of the hot, humid day getting the trailor loaded with the help of Ann and I. We were so exhausted by the end of the day...but we had one thing to look forward to. Larry Peoples, Vernon and Rita Dickerson, Al and Marla Peoples were at Ball's Airfield grilling hotdogs and hamburgers for a sendoff party for us. Larry Romero, Ann, Barry, and I went out and sat down in the shade of the Outer Marker and ate that wonderful food. Joyce Ann Peoples, Travis, and Joni and her new friend Jonathan were there too. It was so relaxing after such a stressful day. Before we left, we got the idea to have everyone sign the back of the trailor.

Leaving mom's house was so hard this morning. Ann, Larryp, Larryr, Joni, and my chocolate mama (Annie loves it when I call her that) were all there. My cousin Wendy came by too for awhile. It is always hard to leave our family, but we've ridden such an emotional rollercoaster for the past 4 months..,and grew so close on that ride...that this time the sadness is so deep it hurts more than usual. After the hugs and goodbyes, I got in the car and felt overcome with the desire to go back into the house. I wanted to go into mom's room so bad I ached. I told Barry I had to go back in...he asked why and I said...I don't know...I need some of her clothes to hug or something...he said for me to go ahead...and finally I told him that I guess I just felt like I needed to go tell her goodbye...but she is not just drive... he said are you sure...yes, just drive...I honestly thought I was not going to be able to stop crying! We stopped to eat in Rolesville which is about 20 miles from mom's. I realized that I had forgotten one of my most prized posessions. A huge picture that Larry had given me of mom and dad. I was so sad again. About that time, the phone rang and it was Ann. She and Larry had discovered that I had forgotten the picture. She was on her way to Wake Forest which was in the same direction as where we were eating. She brought it to me! We hugged again and cried again. I just love her so much and truly feel like we have bonded so much that we will always be close friends.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Is She Really Gone?

The past couple of weeks have been like a fog...I miss mom so much! Looking back on the way she passed it was obvious that she orchestrated the entire thing. Early that Friday morning, I woke up and went into mom's room. She had changed her breathing pattern. Instead of holding her breaths, they became more consistant. Larry was here and sat with mom and I for awhile, then Ann came over. She was on her way to see Kira and her sweet little Asher. She stayed for an hour or so...then left. Before she left, I could tell Ann was concerned. I told her that I would leave the room so that they could have a moment together. Then, she left and Steve and Linda came in. Steve, Linda, Larry and I sat with mom and the steady breathing continued. Larry went outside to work on something and I went to get my computer so I could blog a little while Steve, Linda and I sat with mom. At about 10:15, the nurse came in to do her normal bi-weekly check on mom. It seem like as soon as the nurse walked into the room, mom's breathing changed. It began to be weaker and weaker and weaker. The nurse checked her and could not get an oxygen reading and pulse was weak. I could see the concern on her face...she said...can I get anyone or call anyone? We asked her to go get Larry and Barry and she did. She sat in a chair at the end of the bed and is the time to say goodbye to you mom...we each held her and told her how much we love her and that we would see her again and that she was the best mom ever!!! As I look back on that day...there are a few things I know for sure...

1. Mom was in charge...

2. She knew which of her 5 children needed to be there when she died...and she waited for that moment.

3. She waited for the nurse to get there so that we would not freak out!

4. She wanted Ann to be with Kira and would say that is where she needed to be!

5. She would have wanted Shirley to be with her family in Sanford and she would say that is where she needed to be!

6. She knew that I wanted to be with her to the very end and she made sure I was prompted to stay in the room with her.

7. Aunt Shirley and Uncle Wilbur popped in to visit mom very shortly after she passed away...Uncle Wilbur said that something told him that they should drop by after their doctor wanted her little sister to come check on her children!

8. Mom loved having her kids hanging around together for the weeks prior to her I am convinced that she put off her death so that she could see the Romero Reunion taking place under her roof!

9. A week after mom died, Aunt Shirley and Uncle Wilbur's grandson Kyle was killed in an accident in his pickup truck. It has been so tragic for the family. My heart aches for Sherry, Brent, Jessica, Johnathan and Megan. But one thing I know for sure!!!!....Just like Shirley and Wilbur popped in to visit us the day mom died, mom was there to greet Kyle the moment he left that truck and together they are getting reaquainted with so many people that have passed away. They are happier than we can even comprehend while we live on this earth!!! I remember hearing someone say that if we could get a glimpse of Heaven...we would not want to be here for even one more moment! Families are Forever!!!!I know that beyond any shadow of a doubt!!!! Mom and Kyle are in a better place...we will miss them terribly...but their mission here are earth is over and we will see them again!!!

I have so many other things to say...but I will wait...I love you...thanks for all your love and support!!