Oh What a Night....

This is a picture of "Miss Annie" with mom. Miss Annie is part of the family! She has been staying with mom for almost a year now. Mom loves her so much that we decided that we would keep her coming during the weekdays even though I am here. It is great to have her around and I think that keeping her has made mom's adjustment to me go smoother. I wish you could all meet Miss Annie. She is almost as old as mom, but healthy as can be. She has a Christ-like love for everyone she meets and never forgets a name or face. Everyone needs a Miss Annie to bring sunshine into their day!!!

I was trying to control what I write out of respect for my mom, but I decided that I know that whoever reads this will understand that what I say is not a reflection of her but rather of this horrible disease. As I watch mom, it is hard to grasp what it must be like to be living in her world. Her anxiety level is understandable very high. Who are these people? What are they saying to me? What is this fork for? Do I chew or swallow these pills? Where am I? I want to go home! Am I alone? What is that noise? Who are these people who call me mom? The list could go on and on.... So now I want to describe what a night for her is like........At about 7:00 she begins to want to go to bed. We try to procastinate. Last night we had her mixing up some sugar free pudding and she enjoyed licking the wisk. We were able to stretch bedtime out to about 8:00. Every two or three hours, she wakes up and says,"Where am I" or "Whose there?" or "Larry, Ann, Miss Annie". You go in and try to comfort her until she goes back to sleep. Most nights that I am with her, I usually just climb into the twin bed that is next to her hospital bed. The other night I finally got her calmed down and she went back to sleep and I heard her sing,"Row, row, row your boat..." in her sleep. I began to laugh. What sweet memories! We talked to the Hospice nurse and she is giving mom an anxiety pill to help her calm down more at night. The nurse said that one of the most important things we can do for mom is to help her get a full and relaxed night sleep. She seems to want to sleep all day long and I really hope that if we can help her relax at night, she will be abe to stay up during the day more.

I am so grateful for this time I have to spend with mom and I know that these memories I am "blogging" will be meaningful to me someday. Sometimes when I am watching her sleep I find myself singing a Garth Brooks song...."If tomorrow never comes...will she know how much I love her...have I tried in everyway...to show her everyday.... " . Mom knows that my sister Ann and her sweet family, and my brother Larry have always been there for her...now I just have to get her to remember me and know that I will always be here for her and that I will not leave ever again!!!!!